Ex Number Two is in his 60s, and not officially diagnosed. To him, everything has always been somebody else's fault.
I'm so glad to hear that your father was functional enough to provide a healthy childhood for you. That makes such a huge difference.
My therapist has explained that symptoms of autism vary in severity. Ex Number Two was obviously on the more severe end of the spectrum. Your father and son are apparently on the milder end. I'm glad.