I went No Contact with my mother when I put the pieces together and discovered she was a sociopath. She's extremely dangerous. And you're right. I can't change that. But when I severed contact, I skipped step number 3. An honest give-and-take conversation with my mother is simply not possible. Remember, I was dealing with a very toxic person with a serious mental disorder. So I didn't even try. If I were to write a how-to article like this, I would preface step 3 with the phrase "If it's safe to do so,..." For me, it wasn't. Now, post-ten years NC, I'm finally able to spread my wings a bit. I'm safe enough to consider what flying might feel like.